Sunday, May 19, 2019

Don't actually let him read this

To the Honorable William M. Peduto:

Sometimes you just get a feeling like you need some kind of change. I'm here to tell you I know what it is. Higher office, baby. You know what I'm talking about.  Go. For. It.  Here's why:

1) You're the mayor of a mid-sized city, which means running for the presidency isn't something you're too busy to do. Seriously, who's going to notice if you're AWOL?

2) In an era where everyone is trying to play identity politics, you appeal to the entire spectrum of mainstream, hard working Americans. From the out of work steelworker to the cyclist looking for a safe path to Whole Foods, you've got the kitchen table voter's back.

3) You're from Pennsylvania. PENNSYLVANIA. A state so important that Joe Biden launched his campaign from it multiple times in just the last month!

4) You had the tunnel vision to go after Amazon, and that's the same kind of ludicrous delusion it'll take to think you belong in this shitshow.

 5) You're a leader but you're not bossy. You're a liberal but you're not a neoliberal. You're able to stand up to people but no one thinks your voice sounds like a shrill, castrating she-devil when you talk. You've got the right stuff, Bill.

So do it. You know you can make a difference. You've certainly proven to us that you can tread water at the municipal level, time to take that show on the road. It would be wrong not to!


p.s. Please forward this to Rich Fitzgerald, Dan Gilman, and Rick Sebak if you see them. They're also invited to run for similar, if not identical reasons.