Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Our suck is worse than your suck

Two items that are making the rounds thanks to Big League Stew.

First off... the Baltimore Orioles ended their spring camp by losing to the Manatee-Sarasota State College of Florida's baseball team.

Boo fucking hoo.

We've made it a tradition of losing to those guys (or the guys at Manatee Community College; if that's a different school, I guarantee it fields scholar-athletes of far less athleticism). Seriously, that's how we end every spring training. By playing a community college and trying not to lose to them. The reason no one is making a big deal about it is because we're regular about it. We are regular about suck.

Second piece... Some asshole who was the opening day starter for the Nationals got demoted to the minors.

John Lannan was the opening day starter for the Washington Nationals in 2009.

He received the honor again in 2010.

Yet despite being a regular part of the Nats rotation for the past four seasons, Lannan won't be anywhere near the team when it opens the season in Chicago on Thursday afternoon. He'll be nearly 700 miles away in western New York instead, opening the season for the Syracuse Chiefs, the team's Triple-A affiliate.

I'm not really sure I have a point here, but I'm going to make you a list because everybody loves a list:

2006 Pirates opening day starter - Oliver Perez
2007 Pirates opening day starter - Zach Duke
2008 Pirates opening day starter - Ian Snell
2009 Pirates opening day starter - Paul Maholm
2010 Pirates opening day starter - Zach Duke
2011 Pirates opening day starter - Kevin Correia

John Lannan is decent and was an opening day starter (meaningless distinction) twice. Now he's in the minors. Oliver Perez looked like he was going to be good, then was insane and terrible; he was last seen making $12m for the Mets and being absolutely the worst pitcher money could buy. Zach Duke had flukey good success as a rookie and then was terrible. He was also released in spring training this year, and will be joining John Lannan in the Nationals' minor league system. Ian Snell's whereabouts are unknown. Paul Maholm is going to be a mediocre middle of the rotation guy for the Cubs this year. Kevin Correia should be in the minor leagues.

My point is: we suck the most.

Welcome back, Baseball. We've missed you.

No comments: