Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Yes, I am still angry about this

The Pirates files a formal complaint with the league office at 2:30 a.m. today. Joe Torre, who serves as MLB's executive vice president for baseball operations issued a statement in response to said complaint.

Unfortunately, it appears that the call was missed, as Jerry Meals acknowledged after the game.

It doesn't appear the call was missed. The call was missed. I could sit here and say that Joe Torre's right arm appears to still be in a sling following a marathon self-pleasuring session in the wake of Derek Jeter's 3,000th hit, but that would be wrong for the exact same reason.

Also, Jerry Meals didn't acknowledge shit after the game. Here's what he said: "I looked at the replays and it appeared he might have got him on the shin area. I'm guessing he might have got him, but when I was out there when it happened I didn't see a tag."

Here are some other things Jerry Meals hasn't seen:
Tape of the call Jim Joyce admitted he blew, costing Armando Galarraga a perfect game.
Video of Jim Joyce admitting he blew the call and apologizing for it.
The Sir Thomas Gainsborough exhibit at the San Diego Museum of Art.
Dave Matthews Band live in concert
The King's Speech
The Eiffel Tower
A single episode of The Simpsons
Charlie Rose' 1997 interview with David Foster Wallace
A picture of Abraham Lincoln

Anyway, Torre:

Many swipe tags are not applied to the runner with solid contact, but the tag was applied and the game should have remained tied. I have spoken with Jerry, who is a hard-working, respected umpire, and no one feels worse than him.

WRONG. WRONG WRONG WRONG. I feel worse about this than does Jerry Meals. Nils feels worse about this than does Jerry Meals. Franco feels worse about this than does Jerry Meals. Holy shit, there are probably Braves fans who feel worse about this than Jerry Meals. Even some hacks over at ESPN feel worse about this than Jerry Meals. Oh, and the Pirates definitely feel worse about this than Jerry Meals.

You know how I know Jerry Meals doesn't feel particularly bad about this at all? He hasn't straight up admitted that he blew the call, let alone apologize for it. And he won't, because he fucking did it on purpose.

We know that this is not a product of a lack of effort.

Having been the beneficiary of calls like this and having been on the other end in my experience as a player and as a manager, I have felt that this has always been a part of our game.

They have always been a part of the game because you cuntnuggets refuse to eliminate them. Nobody is saying umps shouldn't call balls and strikes (though Meals struggled with that last night, too). There is just so much shit that these high-and-mighty assholes get wrong that if you have the technology to improve your game -- which you do -- and you refuse to implement it, -- which you are-- then you are doing irreparable and enduring harm to your game. And if you fucking use the phrase "the human element" I will find a Yankees jersey, take a shit on it, wrap it up and FedEx it to you.

However, most in the game recognize that the human element always will be part of baseball and instant replay can never replace all judgment calls by umpires.

I had Chipotle for lunch. Next Day Air okay?

The whole argument for "the human element" is trite garbage, and it goes on the shelf right between George Will's view of baseball and those lame, flaky of people who think that the pieces of paper they find on the ground are poems sent to them by the universe. Why are you afraid of adding technology to the game in the name of making it better? I don't believe it's a time issue. If the pace of the game really concerned anybody in baseball, every hitter would not get infinity timeouts to step out of the batter's box and adjust every piece of equipment they're wearing. Do you really think that instituting a system to avoid disasters like last night's would start you down the slippery slope toward everyone involved, including players and fans, being replaced with robots? Football changes constantly, and has effectively added replay. And when the NFL gets something wrong, they at least have the balls to own up to it and apologize, even if that doesn't fix the game. Basketball has replay. Hockey, which might be the most traditional of any of these sports, has an official pick up a phone and talk to someone at IN TORONTO. AT THE HEADQUARTERS OF THE SPORT. YES, THEY ACTUALLY CALL ANOTHER COUNTRY WHERE VIDEO OF THE PLAY IN QUESTION APPEARS INSTANTANEOUSLY AND THE RULES OFFICIAL AT THE HOCKEYOFFICE SORTS IT ALL OUT WITH THE OFFICIAL. Holy shit. If hockey can afford to do this, are we to believe that it's out of the question for baseball to set up a similar facility?

Fuck you, Joe Torre. Fuck you, Bud Selig. And fuck your "human element."

You want a human element? The players play the game, and the players decide the game. There's your human goddamn element.

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