Garrett Jones: It's my wife. Gotta be my wife.
Pedro Alvarez: Right now? Megan Fox. Last week it was Sofia Vergara. They make an app for this.
Ross Ohlendorf: I've had a huge thing for Danica McKellar since The Wonder Years, and she did write all those math books, but Megan Fox is really, really hot.
Jones: No, seriously. Have you seen my wife?
Andrew McCutchen: Megan Fox.
Lyle Overbay: Katy Perry is amazing. I like that you can almost see through her skin. But objectively? Megan Fox.
Paul Maholm: Megan Fox. Sorry, mom!
Ryan Doumit: Oh, it's Megan Fox. All apologies to Mrs. Jones; she's a very close second. She'll kill me if she sees this.
Ronny Cedeno: Oh, what's her name? That chick from "Transformers!"
Neil Walker: Sophie Masloff! Get it? Because I'm from Pittsburgh! PICKS-burgh! Dahntahn! Stillers! High five?
/throws up high five
Please love me.
Brandon Wood: Out in Cali, it's whoever Vinny Chase is fucking. I don't get what you east coast nerds find attractive. You all probably like Minnie Driver or some shit. Hey, you got any ganj?
Jose Tabata: Mi esposa es muy hermosa, pero ella está en la cárcel. Sofía Vergara es también muyhermosa.
Joel Hanrahan: Garrett's wife. Oh God yes, Garrett's wife.