While the entire editorial board of Free Tank Carter is disgusted, dismayed and completely disoriented by the events and revelations of the past 48-hours, it's not above or below us to advise our readers to do the following:
Hurry to GetGo and pick up some #7 jerky, ASAP. That shit is going to be a collector's item no later than May.
Also, stay tuned for a more thorough response to the shitshow that is Ben Roethlisberger. Matt has something in the works, which should comprehensively express everything we all feel.