Friday, August 1, 2008

New Sports Terminology: Suck Ceiling

So my buddy Jim (with an assist from me) coined the term "Suck Ceiling" for players who will be given immense opportunity to perform badly. It originated in a baseball discussion about middle relievers, but has plenty of use across the sports universe. Ingredients for a high suck ceiling include:
  • Indifferent fan base/small media market/Pittsburgh!
  • Lousy GM or front office
  • "old school" manager who places value on vague, ethereal qualities like
  • "grittiness" or "gamer"-hood, usually in combination with being white
  • High draft pick status
  • Big contract based on career year
  • Early dominance or hot streak to start career, especially against rivals or in postseason
  • Championship rings
  • Left-handedness (especially for pitchers)
Current examples of high suck ceiling include:
  • Craig Hansen- He's got a huge arm, a small head, and now he's in Pittsburgh, where he could rack up historically bad numbers before anyone yanks him.
  • Johnny Cueto- Jesus-like start means that Dusty Baker will never, ever remove him from the starting rotation. If he's terrible, it could be years before anyone acts accordingly.
  • Brian Wilson (closer for SF, not Beach Boy)- Who's going to take his job?
Past examples include:
  • Shelly Duncan
  • Mike Williams (Pirates closer, highest ERA ever to make the All-Star team)
  • Kwame Brown (PF, Washington Wizards and LA Lakers)
  • Rob Johnson (QB, Buffalo Bills)
Suggestions and additions welcomed.

1 comment:

Jim said...

Example in a sentence:

Sidney Ponson raised his suck ceiling dramatically tonight, and the Yankees didn't even get a win out of it.