Friday, April 11, 2008

A Pretension Unlike Any Other

I love the Masters. It's a great event of American semi-sports. Lots of great stories, terrific competition, and beautiful Georgia scenery. Seriously, I watch it every year, and I'm not overly wild about golf.

That said, it far surpasses any other televised event in the category of most times I yell "Oh shut up" at the soft-talking announcers (side note to Mike Tirico et al.: No one can hear you. You don't need to whisper; you're like a. There is nothing that glorifies rich (mostly white) men as much as the ceremony and self-importance of this tournament.

Some amateur just called a penalty stroke on himself. By "just" I mean about an hour ago, but no one has shut up about it since. "How wonderful, how noble, what a tremendous statement on the game of golf, and you have to understand that it's just so wonderful because every golfer out there would have done the same thing, and that's really why everyone who has anything to do with golf is just wonderful."

I got it. He follows rules. What a guy. I bet it was really hard growing up in country clubs, deciding which Mercedes to drive to his prep school, and then deciding which college to attend where he can major in golf. It's a good thing he persevered through all that adversity, so now he can call penalties on himself in the Masters. I'm inspired. Seriously, Mike Tirico, shut the fuck up.

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