Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Brett Favre is...

Not content to remain comfortably out of the limelight, making his weekly studio appearances on CBS during the season and having his name tossed around as a possible candidate for every single head coaching vacancy from the Washington Redskins down through Louis E. Dieruff High School (Go, you Huskies!), Bill Cowher has again started sending subtle hints to the particularly adept Pittsburgh media that he's in need of some attention. And he did it the way he always does it: by putting his house on the market.

Bill and Kaye's house in Raleigh, NC is up for sale, fueling speculation that 1) Bill was about to accept a new coaching job, 2) Bill was leaving Kaye, 3) Kaye was leaving Bill, or 4) Bill and Kaye were playing a fantastic practical joke on daughters Meghan and Lindsay, who, if the Pittsburgh media hadn't ruined it, would have come home to find their parents had moved without telling them.

It's a little surprising that Channel 11 broke this story. Since moving into their new, completely dysfunctional, state-of-the-art, all-HD, $30-bajillion broadcast facility has forced them to make certain budget cuts, such as no longer to keeping a remote production team in a van parked on the Cowhers' block.

There are already a ton of good looking mock drafts all over the internet, and if there's a consensus so far, it's that the Steelers will be drafting for the offensive line.

NFL Draft Countdown and NFL Draft Dog both say Virginia guard Branden Albert is the pick. thinks that Pitt's Jeff Otah somehow slips past the Bills, Panthers, Bears, Texans, and Eagles. It's probably worth noting that these guys also have Glenn Dorsey, a consensus top-five guy, going ninth to Cincy.

Draft King thinks the Steelers will wind up with cornerback Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, largely because the folks at Draft King don't know anything about football.

I can't decide if this is better or worse than the mock draft up at NFL Draft Blitz, which has the Steelers taking Ole Miss super-tackle Michael Oher, as Oher announced, like, two months ago that he planned to return for his senior season.

Okay, I've had enough of this for now.

In honor of the impending deaths of John Madden, Mike Patrick, Paul Maguire, Joe Buck, Frank Caliendo, Al Michaels, Chris Berman, Sterling Sharpe and Boomer Esiason, all of whom would rather jump off of bridges than continue to live in a world devoid of any beauty or meaning, a world without Brett Favre, FTC is proud to bring you this Brett Favre internet meme:

Brett Favre is the best quarterback who ever played.
Brett Favre is back.
Brett Favre is not dead.
Brett Favre is gone.
Brett Favre is No. 1
Brett Favre is like a kid out there.
Brett Favre is one swell fella.
Brett Favre is retiring.
Brett favre is an idol to many people including myself because people can relate to him.
Brett Favre is the top three best quarterbacks I have ever witness from his rookie year to his final season in my opinion.
Brett Favre is done.
Brett Favre is retiring.
Brett Favre is the NFL's Iron Man.
Brett Favre is gone, ending man-crushes across U.S.
Brett Favre is still in limbo.
Brett Favre is all about winning.
Brett Favre is well past his prime.
Brett Favre is a beast.
Brett Favre is a survivor.
Brett Favre is a real person, right down to his thick Southern accent.
Brett Favre is more than just a stellar quarterback in the NFL, he is a genuine folk hero who embodies the grit, tenacity, hard-won skill, and overwhelming success of the American dream.
Brett Favre is going to be Mike Tirico’s guest on ESPN Radio at 1:20 p.m. Wednesday.
Brett Favre is ready to enjoy a playoff run.
Brett Favre is God.
Brett Favre is Jesus.
Brett Favre is the Picasso of pigskin perfection.
Brett Favre is Wisconsin's treasure.
Brett Favre is going to retire.
Brett Favre is about to announce his retirement.
Brett Favre is retiring.
Brett Favre is actually retiring.
Brett Favre is retired.


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