Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Just when I thought I'd weaned myself off of drive-time sports talk radio...

KillYourFace: Hey, turn on Mark Madden. He's really on a roll today.

Spinmove: Really? It's been a while.

::Spinmove turns on radio::

Mark Madden: AND THAT'S ALL...I HAVE TO SAY...ABOUT HOCKEY...BUT OMIGOD!!!! RIC FLAIR! HE. IS GOING. TO RETIRE. HIS LAST MATCH IS SCHEDULED FOR WRESTLEMANIAFAKESPORTINGEVENTSU
MMERSLAMMM LXVII!!!!! BUT WITH WRESTLING. YOU NEVER. EVER. EVER. EVER. EVER. EVER. KNOW. OMIGOD!!! RIC AND I HAVE BEEN FRIENDS FOR, LIKE, 20 YEARS!!! AND THAT'S, YOU KNOW, SO WEIRD FOR ME BECAUSE WHEN I WAS 16 YEARS OLD, I HE WAS MY FAVORITE WRESTLER AND I HAD A POSTER ON THE WALL OF MY ROOM OF HIM, SO I LIKE TO THINK THAT WHEN THAT ONE REALLY UGLY GIRL WHO I HAVE MADE MORE ATTRACTIVE IN MY MEMORY AS TIME HAS PASSED GAVE ME A HANDJOB IN MY ROOM WHEN I WAS 17, RIC WAS THERE TO BE A PART OF IT AND WE ARE SO CLOSE FRIENDS! IF HE RETIRES, HE'LL BE TOTALLY LESS RELEVANT! AND THAT'S ONE LESS NAME FOR ME TO DROP!

Spinmove: What the...

KYF: No, I swear, it was really good before!

Mark Madden: BEN ROETHLISBERGER IS SUCH A MANLY, MANLY MAN'S QUARTERBACK. WHAT I LOVE ABOUT BEN IS THAT HE'S SUCH A DAMN MAN. HE MANS UP WHEN THE GAME. IS ON. THE LINE. HE'S LIKE THE RIC FLAIR OF QUARTERBACKS. WHEN HE RETIRES, THEY ARE GOING TO RE-NAME THE POSITION QUARTERMAN OR MANLYBACK. WELL, THEY WON'T. BUT. YOU KNOW. THEY SHOULD.

Spinmove: I'm going to kill you.

KYF: I swear, it was funny, like, three minutes ago

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