Monday, April 2, 2007

Pirates Baseball: Now 26% More Weird Looking!

The Post-Gazette today ran a photo of what I can only assume is the Pirates two-through-five hitters searching the Monongahela for the B-25 Bomber that's been missing since 1956. Turns out the river is only two feet deep! Who would have thought? Thank you for your outstanding public service, gentlemen.
The PG's also got complete player-by-player projections for the whole roster. They're worth looking at, solely for the awkward head shots that were probably taken the first day of spring training while everyone was hung over, except for Nate McLouth, who had a glass of Ovaltine at 8 p.m. and went right to bed.

The best of this year's crop is backup catcher Humberto Cota, sporting an ill-advised attempt at a goatee this year, and looking like he hasn't slept since last November. If you look closely enough, it even starts to resemble a famous mugshot. If you could see the un-cropped version of Cota's 2007 photo, you'd see that in place of a booking number, Cota was forced to hold up his 2006 offensive statistics (.190/.248/.200, 0 HR, 5 RBI, 8 BB, 26 K).

Other notables:
Tom Gorzelanny has melted 26% more since the end of last season.

Against management's wishes, Chris Duffy accepted a challenge by pitcher Matt Capps to down four (4) Wendy's 4-Alarm Spicy Chicken Sandwiches in one hour. That's 16 alarms, Chris! Sixteen alarms!

The best photo of Jack Wilson since his rookie year, before he had those teeth fixed. I won't even dare dip into the archive to show you what that looked like.

1 comment:

Amerigo Vespucci said...

So Humberto Cota is playing baseball and Ugie Urbina is in jail? Does anyone else see something wrong with this, just based on the name Ugie and Cota's picture? A modest proposal: Lock up Cota, let out Urbina, and free Tank Carter.